honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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