Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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