4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
