with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
