Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
