Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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