Dual....:-)
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
