I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize