i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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