This girl is more easily done than said...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
