ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
