you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
