I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
