I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
