sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk is not a location!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
