you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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