Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize