Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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