So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize