Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
