She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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