Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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