its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
