He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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