They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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