You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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