He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
