what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
