why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
