so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
