also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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