You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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