this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
