i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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