Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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