She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
