He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
