She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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