Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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