So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i dont even know how to be here
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
