Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
