no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize