An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
