the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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