I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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