I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
