True but thats because hes a fetus.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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