you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's official drugs can't kill me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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