The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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