Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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