my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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