Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
where am i from again
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize