Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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