i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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