Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
