we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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