I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
3pm strippers are depressing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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