Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
