your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
