i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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