Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
